Maybe the government should run the militaries of America's enemies.

Tea Party person Richard Harris (not the actor), articulates his movement's wet dream in an article in the New York Times: "Government should do the military and the roads and just about nothing else. They foul everything up if they do."

In other words, he wants an organization that he thinks is too incompetent or inefficient to do something like deliver a letter to be in charge of defending the country.

That's not "Tea Party," that's "Peter Principle."

It's too stupid to fail.

Make A Run For The Border.

The Lovely Mrs. byoolin's trebuchet and I took a little trip to Canada earlier this week. We entered and left at the Peace Bridge border crossing between Buffalo, New York and Fort Erie, Ontario.

SCENE ONE - Entering Canada

CANADA CUSTOMS GUARD: What's the purpose of your visit?
ME: I have a job interview on Monday. And NBC's Olympic hockey coverage stinks.
CANADA CUSTOMS GUARD: [laughs, then looks at The Lovely Mrs. byoolin's trebuchet] You've been to Canada in the winter before, right?
SHE: Our honeymoon was in Ottawa one February. 
CANADA CUSTOMS GUARD: They're just a whole different level of mental there. Have a nice day.




SCENE TWO - Entering the United States

US CUSTOMS GUARD: Why were you in Canada?
ME: I had a job interview.
US CUSTOMS GUARD: [gestures at my 'Green Card'] You know if you move there you have to give this back, right?
ME: Yes.
US CUSTOMS GUARD: Okay, then.

Ask not what you can do for your country; ask what you can do to improve your President's speeches.

See if you can spot the Lovely Mrs. byoolin's trebuchet's editing of President Kennedy's 1961 address to the Parliament of Canada:


Geography has made us neighbors. History has made us friends. Economics has made us partners. The Internet has made us lovers. And necessity has made us allies.

We're gonna need a bigger Gitmo.

An article by Walter Pincus in The Washington Post says that the FBI told the Senate Judiciary Committee in September that its terrorist watch list contains over four hundred thousand "unique names".

They say "anti-terrorism," I say "paranoid much?"

They're adding about 1,600 names a day to the list, for crying out loud. (For comparison, an FBI agent who served on a CIA–FBI task force hunting bin Laden has said that al Qaeda's membership list in 2001 contained 198 names.)

Four hundred thousand potential terrorists in the USA? Come on. You're telling me that America has twice as many potential terrorists as it does Army Reservists?

If there were 400,000 potential terrorists within the United States, you wouldn't be able to find diesel fuel or fertilizer anywhere.

If there were 400,000 potential terrorists within the United States, there would be explosions in airplanes, subways, shopping malls, airports and football stadiums every day of the week.

If there were 400,000 potential terrorists within the United States, they'd have a company health plan, a 401-K, some sort of employee day care program, and, most importantly, at least one employee stupid enough to blog about what they were up to.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll just go hide in my basement. Wouldn't want the terrorists to get me.

Dr. Dean.

Former Vermont Governor Dr. Howard Dean, at Joseph-Beth Books, Pittsburgh PA.

Another small victory for the terrorists.

Thousands of people were evacuated from a JPMorgan Chase office building in Columbus, Ohio on Tuesday after an employee spotted "a black, boxlike device with lights, wires and a timer in a first-floor conference room" and called authorities.

Employees were evacuated to the parking lot, where some were overcome by the day's heat and had to be treated by paramedics.

Later, Chase spokesman Jeff Lyttle explained to the Columbus Post-Dispatch what the terror device was: "It has lights on it and sits in front of you, and when you have two minutes left, it prompts you; and when you have one minute left, it prompts you."

And when it's just sitting there on a desk, it scares some people shitless.